10 Common Reasons A Marriage Can Fail
Marriage is HARD AF. In my twenty-six years of life, I have done a lot of hard things between publishing books, naturally delivered two babies, and started a business, but nothing could compare to the ultimate life test which is marriage. Many of us seem to be in a rush to lock down our life partners to have the security of a committed partner, but if you think planning a wedding is hard, planning for a lifetime is a million times more difficult. 50% of all first-time marriages end in divorce but they all center around easy to identify problems. These are 10 common ways you could possibly kill your marriage.
10. Don’t stop dating!
Ah, remember the days when you could run out together and get a bite to eat or go on a really dope adventure outside? Those are the moments that help keep you bonded together in friendship. Date nights are an absolute must because it’s your time to laugh and have fun together. Even if it takes some planning in advance between coordinating schedules or finding a sitter, find the time to do it once a week or at least twice a month, you’ll thank me later.
9. If you can’t compromise.
If you ask my husband, he’ll say “my wife is always right”. Cheeky, but true. Unfortunately, I am the harder one of us two to settle on a compromise. Compromise is important so both partners feel heard and no one constantly feels that their opinions or needs aren’t important. Compromising does NOT mean one person is always right! It just means you have to meet your spouse the middle.
8. You lie to your partner.
Lying is one sure way to set your marriage on fire. It doesn’t matter if the lie is big or small! Lies will come back to haunt you and you will make the problem worse if you lie to cover a lie. My truest and simplest advice on commutation is say what you mean, and mean what you say. Your partner always needs to have 100% confidence in you or your relationship will suffer from jealousy, resentment from your partner, and overall hostility between you both on a day-to-day basis.
7. Your life goals are unclear.
What am I working towards in life? What are we working towards in life? It is important to lay out your personal and joint goals to your partner so that you can hold yourself [and them] accountable for not doing their part. Set short and long term goals together so you can crush your goals instead of being upset that you are sitting on that dream, scrolling past your dream house you can't afford yet, or whatever else you aspire to do in life. These goals can change over time so when and if they do, be open about what your new aspirations are so both of you are on the same page.
6. You’re unwilling to change.
Life is full with unexpected challenges. It is impossible to stay the same person you were 10 years ago (I know) because the rest of the world is growing and changing everyday! Bad habits like having a hot temper or jealous streak can be hard to break but those habits are toxic and must be broken.
5. Emotional needs aren't met.
Communication is so important to communicate how we’re thinking or feeling. For a lot of men, connecting in this way is extremely hard and women get frustrated with their “robotic” and over-analytical personalities. Many lost marriages fall victim to lack of emotional fulfillment.
4. Finances fall on one.
Let’s face it, it is too damn expensive to afford many places in US, especially for a mid- sized family of four or more. It is extremely difficult to take on the burden of supporting a family alone. Having two incomes is helpful to avoid financial arguments and the strain feeling you’ll endure if one person is financing everything.
3. Poor attitude.
Bad attitudes are contagious and it’ll bring everyone around you down. Part of having a happier relationship is checking the attitude and ego at the door after a long day or a frustrating situation so your mood doesn’t affect your partner’s or family’s.
2. Meddling family members.
If it weren’t for those meddling family members! Some families over-protective anxieties and controlling behavior can infiltrate your marriage, especially if you seek advice from relatives who may not always be as forgiving of your partner as you are. Keep negative opinions of your partner and relationship out of your life!
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people. Once you introduce anyone else in the mix, it’s the final blow and the beginning of the end. Marriages crumble to pieces without trust and intimacy with another is the ultimate betrayal.
At at the end of the day, my marriage is definitely not perfect. No marriage is perfect. My husband and I call our relationship #dailygrind because our relationship is a daily choice to prioritize each other and being excited about improving ourselves.
After almost ten years, Dez and I have been through heaps and bounds of obstacles which is a testimonial about what you can overcome together!
Marriage is not for the weak.
A long-lasting marriage is no easy fete. You sign up for a daily commitment to be positively committed to your “teammate”.