It's OKAY To Not Be Okay.


Depression is something that people try to avoid talking about. It’s the silent elephant in the room that looms over you and everyone else around you when you’re having a bad day. You can’t see it, but you can feel it all around you.

It’s worse when you’re forced not to talk about it so you don’t annoy someone else talking about how you feel. I want anyone whose ever dealt with a day of depression to know that It’s OKAY to not be okay, I too have to remind myself of this often. I am one of those people who has to talk about it to survive.

Depression can lead to life-threatening thoughts when someone doesn’t feel like other people care about them. People who don’t know or understand depression will grow tired of dwelling in sadness and push them away not knowing that it causes their loved ones to sink deeper into that hole.

The CDC reports that “1 out of 10 women” will experience depression in their lifetime. Statistics vary from state to state, with some regions showing 1 in 5 women can be affected by depression. That’s a lot of women. Many who I wish I could hug and shout, “you’re amazing, you’re valuable, you are important. Even if no one has told you today.”

That’s not to say that men cannot experience depression, but for the sake of today, let’s talk about us, the women who give up weeks on end, their fit bodies, and their lifetime to commit to taking care of tiny humans and our spouses.

Some of us will put on excellent fronts like everything is going okay. We wake up, do our hair, put on makeup, maybe something cute, pour a cup of coffee and just. keep. moving. Underneath it all, many of us are terribly tired, sometimes sad, often misunderstood, and even a little bit lonely.

Especially when you’re embarking on motherhood in your twenties, it seems like nobody is in that tiny boat with you. Soon you have one, two, maybe three friends who start having kids. Schedules get hectic so you may not see them often if at all. Most of your friends are living carefree lives that consist of going to work Monday-Friday and little else extra.

As women, we do a LOT. We manage multiple people’s schedules from school to doctors appointments, wash clothes, feed and walk animals, grocery shop, cook dinner, pack lunches, and some of us even manage full-time jobs, too. Us women often ask for little in return. For me, I could care less about gifts and fancy things, the best way to show me love is by giving me your undivided time (yes, phones off or away).

Life can get extremely busy so it is necessary to have consistent & healthy outlets to express yourself on those hard days. Whether that’s a conversation with a close friend, painting a picture, exercising, blogging, or whatever.

Talk about it, shout about it, cry about it, just don’t push it deeper inside. Surviving depression depends on grounding yourself to those warm and happy moments in life. I promise to always be an ear if you ever feel depressed or sad, write me, and I will write back.

Please correspond to me at

Motherhood, YDMA. ColeYDMComment