Posts tagged mama
Love thyself: Three Months Postpartum
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I had a baby three months ago.

This is the honest truth I have to say out loud when I look at myself in the mirror. Sometimes, I have to say it over and over again. I had a baby three months ago.

It seems like society places so much emphasis on “snapping back” after having a baby. I had so many people commenting on my body after having Sire, it made me incredibly insecure. I felt like a specimen in an invisible cage that was on display for people to comment on and give their opinions to.

I heard everything from “Yeah, you look bigger now,” only two weeks after having Sire. Well, duh. I also heard “Wow! You just had a baby?” [Cue the eyeroll]. Some people let it be known that it annoyed them that I lost most of my weight so quickly. Regardless of the feedback that I heard, it left an awful taste in my mouth like my weight and body were being picked apart by people I knew and even absolute strangers.

Why is it anyone else’s place to tell me how good, or bad, I look after having a baby? Three months postpartum, I still have about 8-10 pounds left to shed to get to my “pre-baby” weight but I am in absolutely no rush to see any specific number on the scale. Why? Because, I am so incredibly proud of my body and what it has done to deliver two healthy beautiful babies. So what if I have extra weight on my hips or that those stretchmarks from my first pregnancy look more noticeable than ever.

What I wish people paid attention to more than a mother’s physical appearance is her mental health. This time around, I’ve been able to keep postpartum depression at bay which is an incredible feeling to have a sound mind. I can be fully present at my job, and when I’m home being a wife and mother. I don’t have the fog of darkness that surrounds so many of us when our hormones are going haywire.

I know there will be plenty of time for toning to get ready for summer when I’m ready. I haven’t been putting emphasis on working out rigorously because I’ve been so busy trying to nurse a baby and establish a sleep schedule for Sire with my [amazing] partner.

I know that I’m rounding the corner to depart from my 4th trimester which is all about loving yourself and your new flaws as well as obsessing over your new baby. Love thyself. It is so important to be kind to yourself even in the midst of constant criticism from people who make a comment about your body. I’ve officially said screw all the feedback. I am damn proud of my mom-bod and the incredible blessings it’s provided, my children.

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What I’ve learned…

All you can honestly do is tune out all the comments and focus on eating healthy during and after pregnancy, especially if you’re nursing. Set fitness goals for yourself to start at your own pace. I encourage you to listen to your body. It will tell you what it needs and focus on loving yourself from the inside out.

No attitude, No problem.
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If they don’t have an attitude, we don’t have any problems.

Do any of you have tiny humans who act like teenagers already? If you’re parenting anyone who’s in the 2-7 year age range, it may feel like that.

Aria loves to make dramatic exits from our room when she’s annoyed. You’ll hear, “I’m going to my room” and see her stomping all the way to the door that she grips tightly to slam it shut behind her. When did our three year old turn into my thirteen-year-old self?!

It’s easy to lose your cool when speaking to your attitude-prone child. But, it’s important to remember that if you don’t correct their behavior, it will be up to other adults, caretakers, and teachers to try to instill better behavior in your kid.

Here are the 5 things to do to eliminate tantrums and hissy fits with small kids.

  1. Talk calmly and clearly. Acknowledge when their behavior is bad and clearly state that you are giving them one warning which is their opportunity to correct themselves.

  2. Do not repeat yourself. After the one-time warning, send them to their room. Time alone with no toys or stimulation is super effective. Increments of 5 minutes usually works well depending on the severity of the attitude.

  3. Set expectations and don’t waiver. When you set a punishment for behavior, be consistent with the way you reprimand them. They will remember the negative consequences for bad behavior.

  4. Reflect. Talk to them about the situation that happened and offer a solution you would have preferred to see. For instance, if they’re yelling, demonstrate them the voice level that is appropriate.

  5. Rewards. Rewards should be given if your kid uses good coping and reasoning skills to de-escalate their attitude on their own.

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What I’ve learned…

If you had any type of attitude growing up, your child will serve it back to you tenfold. Instead of raising your voice, or saying the same thing twenty times, try these 5 tactics. I’ve found that in motherhood, nannying, and teaching that they are super effective, especially if you consistently use this method.

Learn To Thrive With Ivy
Teaching our children about our cultures is SO important. We hope that by doing so, he is able to appreciate his own culture as well as show respect for others.
-Ivy Elkington

Ivy Elkington is a rock-climbing mama who dwells in the beautiful mountain-sides of Utah. Her knack for artistic photography and capturing scenery is the reason why Learn To Thrivy is on my radar. Ivy blogs about embracing the little moments life, and shares that she keeps her sanity at home just by keeping things simple and organized! This relaxed boho mama shares about how she relies on faith and family to get through troubling times.

Q & A

1First of all, congrats on the new beautiful baby! What made you choose his unique moniker, Te Kanawa?

Oh thank you! He is such a blessing. It took us a while to pick out a name, we really wanted something that was meaningful and so we went through our ancestry to find something unique and special. Eventually my mother-in-law suggested Te Kanawa (who was the brother of my husband’s great-great-grandfather) and we loved it! Also, his nickname Kana in Maori means, “to stare wildly” and we couldn’t have picked a more perfect name for our beautiful big-eyed boy.

 


2. You and your husband both have stunning features, so does Kana, what is your ancestry background? Where is your husbands?

You’re too kind haha. My ancestry is European, I have a little bit of everything over there from Scandinavian, to Spaniard! My husband’s background is Maori and English, his family is very proud of their Maori culture, which I love! 

 


3. How important is it to you both to immerse your children in your cultures?

I think teaching our children about our cultures is SO important! It gives them a piece of their heritage and allows them to learn more about their ancestors and their history. We’ve made it a point to decorate our home with cultural pieces, to sing our son Maori songs, and plan on teaching him the language (which I will need to learn more about.) We hope that by doing so, he is able to appreciate his own culture as well as show respect for others.


4. You guys explore amazing mountain-sides and thick jungles. Where is home to you all?

We are actually based in Utah at the moment while my husband finishes up school. Utah for me is a love/hate. I love that all kinds of hikes, rock climbing, and other adventures are just 5 minutes away! BUT, I am a born and raised Southern Californian, and so I struggle with the cold snowy winters.


5. I love that you share about your spirituality and that you are so connected to the world. How do your spiritual beliefs impact parenting Kana?

We are LDS and love being members! We actually had a hard time having a baby, but because of our faith, we didn’t lose hope and finally was blessed with our beautiful son. Our struggle made us believe even more, and I think because of that, we have more patience, more joy, and more love for Kana. I also think that because of our spiritual beliefs, we better understand the importance of being kind and loving to EVERYONE as we are taught about Jesus Christ and the life that he lived. Basically, if you don’t support someone’s actions, you can still support that person and show them love! This is something that we want to teach to Kana daily, by our actions, and how we treat each other as husband and wife.


6. What is your best advice to a mama who is trying to simplify her life?

Prioritize and organize! As a mama you are pulled in all sorts of directions, being a mom, being a wife, working out, friends, cleaning, work, hobbies, etc. Prioritizing the important stuff first can help you keep things simple. Once you figure out what’s most important, you can dedicate your time doing those things or spending time with those people and then just don’t stress the rest. Organizing your home is important too. The more organized and simple your home is, the easier it is to take care of it!


7.  Being a stay-at-home mom or working mom is a full-time job, in addition to that, do you have other jobs that you’re passionate about?

I absolutely love getting creative! You can usually find me working on a craft in my spare time, or exploring my artistic side with a painting or photoshoot. Much of our home décor is actually my work.


8. You post amazing photos of yourself and your family in nature. I’m convinced you’re a model! Who gets the honor of snapping your photos? What type of camera do you use to capture these moments?

Most of the time it’s me or my husband behind the camera with my instruction! He has a hidden talent. Occasionally I work with a professional photographer too. I own a Canon EOS Rebel T6i that I LOOOOOOVE. 


9. What do you want women and bloggers to take away from your experiences on Learn to Thrivy?

I would love for women and other bloggers to feel empowered and inspired as they read my experiences. That they can do more than they think they can, that we all experiences struggles, that being a mother is hard work but worth it!  


10. If you could go adventure anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

This is a hard question, I have a lot of places I’d love to visit. Right now at the top of my list is Bali. I absolutely love the turquoise ocean, and lush plant life there, not to mention the insanely beautiful culture. One of my favorite things to do is to explore, and Bali is the place for that! I know that there are views there that could take my breath away.

Follow Ivy Elkington on Instagram at @learntothrivy