Hello, mic-check? Is this thing on? I fall into to categories who need a lot of self-expression: I'm a woman and a writer. As a woman and a writer, I'm constantly looking for outlets to express my emotions. Painting helps, an occasional drink or two. Setting time aside to exercise or play soccer helps. The most important outlet for me is therapy for my depression and anxiety. This helps me cope with the realization that most people do not care what you and I go through as a mom in our twenties.
I've always been a social person. At this particular age in my life I still know and talk to lots of people outside of social media, people who are probably dealing with things in their own lives. Especially the kid-less friends of mine because they can go where they want, when they want. I sometimes miss those care-free days. You'll text friends while in crisis mode and they might hardly notice at all. Sometimes they won't respond! How is it possible to be so not relatable or understood in the era of the "girl squad" phenomenon? (Is a "girl squad" even a thing?) Personally I think it's saved for the Instagram group shots.
These are some of the things you may experience as a 24-year old mama misfit:
- You can could count on my hands the friends you have who have their own child or every single one of them lives in a different state or district.
- Playdates are the new happy hour when you're in your twenties with a kid-in-tow.
- You'll stop getting invited to things at least 75% of the time. People will assume you're busy or won't ask because they might not be thinking of you at all.
- Family will try to drive you crazy. Everybody wants to see your baby but few will come get them themselves.
- Personal dreams feel like they're harder to obtain and further away. You'll work all day, send some emails coordinating around food, sleep, and activities for baby and it'll be 6:30 before you know it.
- Your partner may think you're losing your mind sometimes. People forget that stress can literally kill someone! Being a mom is a job where there's no clocking on or off. Kids constantly need something and that is completely independent from your demands as an employee (especially if you work multiple jobs like me), a homemaker, and a wife. My nights out are once every two months or so and it takes strategic planning to get that time alone!
- Appointments and shopping are instantly a thing of the past. The last time I got my hair done at a salon was over a year ago! I have split ends, a piece that has completely broken off, and my hair is currently brittle from the summer heat. I better add some extra conditioner a couple times a week because $100+ at the salon is out of the question. I won't even start on my eyebrows that haven't been waxed in months.
- Date nights slow down and you opt for movie nights in. My partner and I love some movies ya'll but we've seen about 1,000 on demand flicks in the last 7 years. Vacations? Forget about it. Our honeymoon is the first vacation in three years we've been able to afford.
The point of this isn't to rant because I could all day. I took on the task of being a stay-at-home mom but there are days I feel like I'm on a deserted island and everyone else is a ferry boat distance away.
There are days like today where I force myself to do nothing besides keep Aria happy and do little tasks I've been putting off for months just to restore some sanity and happiness for the little things in life.